The 'Status' Game

So, guys, what do you do when you're single?

Splurge money on yourself for once? Drink as much beer as you want? Smoke as many cigarettes as you please? Fart audibly in public and laugh about it? Hang out with your buddies? While ogling at pretty girls? Or at their bosoms? Or at their legs? Or at their asses? Or at their beautiful, kind, understanding, wholesome character?

Please note that you can still engage in the above even when you're attached, though the consequences will be dire.

However, there will exist some poor lonesome souls who dread singlehood so badly that they will do their utmost to raise their 'status' to the next level. To these people, i have some godly advice for you > Go read a girl's blog. More often than not, you'll receive invaluable information on how to impress a female; to press her emotional buttons correctly; to fix her pipes; to tickle her funny bone; and anything to get your hands in her pants or her into bed with you. The lessons roll from one to a hundred, and it's all free!

But what strikes me as really outstandingly impressive, is to get a female so smitten by you she'll be delving her hands down your pants instead, without you doing anything. Speaking of which, i have a personal experience.....

Was browsing the footwear at Bata just this evening when i spotted some nice looking slippers. Stepping nearer for a closer look, i realised to my dismay that the cutting was for females. Standing not so far away was a babe who was strolling in my direction, smiling. i glanced at her and stepped aside to let her pass. My movements caught her eye and she gazed at me momentarily. She pursed her lips and grabbed at my groin.

..........

Paraphrase: A little girl (approximately 1-2 years old) walking near the slipper rack was delighted to be able to roam around by herself and she bumbled about gleefully, obviously very pleased that she could manage this feat. A sudden movement from a stranger nearby distracted her and she lost her balance momentarily, stepping on the lowest board of the rack. Her lips twisted in an effort to let out a yelp and reached out to grab the very first thing that could somehow regain her balance.


And it was my balls.

Pulau Pawai Addiction

Sorry for the 2-week absence. Was, well, busy with doing shift duty on the little resort island off the southern-west coast of Singapore. 3 weekend shifts in the past month, really no joke, considering that i could have been leisurely lazing around at home looking for a job. And it really didn't help that i had to reschedule a job interview because of the duty.

No choice i guess, the nation comes 1st, our livelihood doesn't really matter to those bastards who sell their lives for the metal rice bowl.

Well, being away for 3 weekends, the only respite i can think of is that there's lots of anime to catch up on! *slurp* i still miss those days when i finished 120++ episodes of Bleach in 8 days.

1 more weekend to burn and it's time to ORD! Waited 6 bloody years for it. Can't be any sweeter. Over and out!

Act 1 Chapter 2: Evil Lurks

A zephyr breezed through the forest, gently caressing each tree like a lustful lover, rustling the leaves from their lazy afternoon slumber. The periodic sashaying of the foliage was in rhythmic tandem to the enthusiastic chirping and gurgling of the mynahs roosting within the greenery. At the edge of the woods ran the meandering Osiris, a river that separated the jungles of Artemia from the barren wastelands of Visgaard. it was not a very deep river, one of which a normal person could wade comfortably, at its deepest, through to the other side. However, as the progress was made from one bank to another, the vast difference in the conditions would startle even the most settled. Crystal clear the waters might be at the Artemian border, but the gradual contamination was a stark visual across the full thirty-odd metres of the water body. Swirls of debris formed mini maelstroms streaking into the depths of the murky waters at the equidistant. Furthering into the watery Visgaardi territory uncovered activated sludge with a heavy growth of visible organisms that resulted from vigorous aeration due the whirlpooling at the centre. The stench of death and decay reeked from these parts of the waters and the tell-tale signs were for all to see: rotting bloated fish floating along in the flow of the river; and featherless carcasses, believed to be stripped of their protective fluff by the venomous fumes steaming off the water surface, of mynahs that were brave enough to venture that far.

In truth, the mystery lay in the stupefying enigma of the disparity between the two scenarios co-existing with such chilling harmony.

The calm Osiris atmosphere was suddenly disturbed by a cacophony of screeches as the mynahs took flight with such haste that it seemed like a swarm of locusts raiding a maize field. The vermillion orb of radiance in the mid-day sky became partially shrouded in the scattered flock movement. Seven mares thundered across the river and started up the banks of Artemia. The ebony-furred bodies of the beasts-of-burden shone like polished obsidians as the blemish of the water-coating diffused the light rays. Muscles rippled as the hoofed legs strained to bring both riders and equines up the grassy edge.

Now the forest fell deadly silent, as though all the insects and animals were fore-warned about the impending evil. Reining the animals in, the horsemen stared beyond the dirt path made shady by the canopy, eyes burning bright orange from the sockets of their skeletal frames. Their bodies were bulked and built like burly warriors, totally mismatching with skulls as heads. The dull-gray drapery, with strange insignias, that hung tightly against them were tattered and lacerated with gaping tears, stretched to the limit of the fabric. Through these porous exits bubbled caustic decomposing flesh as the revolting semi-liquid dribbled down the sides of the cadaverous bodies onto the grass below, desecrating the very sanctity of the greenery. The nauseating pungent odour reeked even sharper than the Osiris, piercing the air with its malignancy.

"Zol'Nirs!", a hushed hiss escaped the slightly parted lips of the entrenched militant leader, the grip on his scimitar tightened with partial fear and partial adrenalin-rush.

His legion awaited his command with abated breaths.