The 'Status' Game

So, guys, what do you do when you're single?

Splurge money on yourself for once? Drink as much beer as you want? Smoke as many cigarettes as you please? Fart audibly in public and laugh about it? Hang out with your buddies? While ogling at pretty girls? Or at their bosoms? Or at their legs? Or at their asses? Or at their beautiful, kind, understanding, wholesome character?

Please note that you can still engage in the above even when you're attached, though the consequences will be dire.

However, there will exist some poor lonesome souls who dread singlehood so badly that they will do their utmost to raise their 'status' to the next level. To these people, i have some godly advice for you > Go read a girl's blog. More often than not, you'll receive invaluable information on how to impress a female; to press her emotional buttons correctly; to fix her pipes; to tickle her funny bone; and anything to get your hands in her pants or her into bed with you. The lessons roll from one to a hundred, and it's all free!

But what strikes me as really outstandingly impressive, is to get a female so smitten by you she'll be delving her hands down your pants instead, without you doing anything. Speaking of which, i have a personal experience.....

Was browsing the footwear at Bata just this evening when i spotted some nice looking slippers. Stepping nearer for a closer look, i realised to my dismay that the cutting was for females. Standing not so far away was a babe who was strolling in my direction, smiling. i glanced at her and stepped aside to let her pass. My movements caught her eye and she gazed at me momentarily. She pursed her lips and grabbed at my groin.

..........

Paraphrase: A little girl (approximately 1-2 years old) walking near the slipper rack was delighted to be able to roam around by herself and she bumbled about gleefully, obviously very pleased that she could manage this feat. A sudden movement from a stranger nearby distracted her and she lost her balance momentarily, stepping on the lowest board of the rack. Her lips twisted in an effort to let out a yelp and reached out to grab the very first thing that could somehow regain her balance.


And it was my balls.